Have you seen my dog anywhere?

I remember being a very small child, not knowing where babies came from. Then, my little brother showed up. My parents told me he had grown in Mommy's tummy, just like my twin brother and I had four years earlier. However I have learned, over the years, that that is a load of bull dookie! Babies don't come from the act of a mommy and daddy loving each other very, very much. It's from the same place I get my cabbages. The store.

In fact, there are many specialty stores that sell nothing but babies!

If these stores are suppose to be a secret, they're not doing a very good job. They advertise all over the internet, in the newspaper, billboards, everywhere.




And for all hopeful grandparents, you can get gift cards, so your kids can go pick out one they like. Where was this when I was playing house? I bet a real baby would be a lot cheaper than Suzy Wetz-a-lot.



For those of you rushing for your keys so you can go to the store and get your very own baby, I have a warning. Don't get a baby on clearance, unless you're just interested in harvesting it's organs. Especially if it has more than one red tag, or the dreaded brown tag (a returned baby).There is nothing more of a faux paus than last season's baby.