Sunday, February 28, 2010

The world confuses me most days.

Dear Samsung,

I've noticed that you recently have started an advertising campaign partnering you with the 2010 Winter Olympics. That's groovy, and I'm sure the idea is a great one. However airing your commercial on a network that isn't airing the games, means you're advertising to people who aren't watching them. People who don't give a shit about the Olympics.

Does this seem like a valuable investment?

Just sayin',

P.S. Visa and McDonald's, this goes for you as well.

Friday, February 5, 2010

What is my city coming to?!

Everyone thinks that the drivers in their town/city/village/commune are the worst drivers in the world. Whenever someone would complain to me about how horrible the drivers are, I would counter with the drivers in Paris. On a brief visit to Paris with my family, we saw people driving on the sidewalk, sidewalks full of pedestrians. The cars would honk their horns to get people out of the way, as if they obviously had the right to be there and what did the pedestrians think they were doing there, in the cars' way.

But today I saw a yellow and black mustang driving on the sidewalk, here in my beloved city of Albuquerque..... all I can think of to say, "Care for a baguette?"

Monday, February 1, 2010

Google made me smarty-pants.

Someone once told me that if you pick up a cow, every day, starting from the day it's born, you'd be able to lift it when it's full grown. I believed it, and was then mocked, (mocked I tell you!) for years for being so gullible. 

Gullible? "Why?", I thought. It made sense to me, slowly you'd build up your strength, until presto, you can lift an adult cow. Plus, the cow would get use to you picking it up everyday, so after it's calf-hood it would come to expect this every day. I bet it wouldn't even struggle after a while. 

Today, the topic came up again. I asked Mr. J to explain it to me. (Because none of those of laughed at me were ever willing to.) He told me the average cow weighs several thousand pounds, and that the human body, no matter how well trained, is incapable of lifting such an amount. 

Thanks to WikiAnswers I am thrilled to tell you, Mr J is a liar. The world record for weight lifting is a whopping 1250 pounds. The weight of an average cow? Depending on the breed, anywhere from 600 to 3000 pounds. As long as the cow wasn't one of the largest breeds, you totally could pick it up after a few years of conditioning.

Who's gullible NOW?