Sunday, March 29, 2009

Night At The Opera of Genocide

Saturday night, Mr. J and I went to watch MonkeyLord perform in an opera. It wasn't the first opera he's been in, but it is the first one I've been able to attend. Also, it was the first opera I've ever seen. OperaMom has performed in a few of her own, but somehow I always missed them.

My first impression of the world of opera: 

Why are there swastikas decorating the theater? 

I know that the symbol means a lot of other things besides the first one that comes to mind. Check out what wikipedia has to say. But... really? The designer couldn't pick any other symbol to decorate the place with?

Friday, March 20, 2009

Dear Opera Mom,

Sorry I forgot to call yesterday to wish you a happy birthday. I hope you didn't think that I'd forgotten your birthday. Though, let's face it, it'd almost be fair. Hopefully you'll have to feel the heart wrenching pain... of having your family forget your birthday... and remembering your twin's.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Love,
Suicidal Jane

P.S. No, I'm never going to let that go.

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

St. Patrick's Day Again.


People who don't have to worry about being pinched on St. Patrick's Day.

Kermit
Charlton Heston
The Matrix family from Reboot! I miss that show....
Even though he's wearing purple, which clashes...
The Incredible Hulk
Jolly Green Giant
Yoda
Shrek
Gumby
Wicked Witch of the West (Elphaba) and anyone who lives in the Emerald City

Godzilla. No one pinches Godzilla.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Double V's


Somehow, I managed to spend almost the same amount of money paying my Verizon phone bill, and shopping at Victoria's Secret. I don't know what this says about my phone plan, or my underwear.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Why can't I fall asleep?!

Can't sleep....

Stupid daylight savings has my internal clock completely confused.

Don't confuse my internal clock with my biological clock. "Suicidal Jane" would not make a good name for a mommy-blogger.

Not that there's anything wrong with mommy-bloggers, I love amusing stories about your kids, I just don't want to be one.

But thinking about it now, I write about my cats a lot. Does that make me a cat-mommy-blogger?

Starting to get slap happy/goofy, where was I going with this?

Oh, right... insomnia. 

And now diarrhea.

Just ran out of toilet paper. 

Thinking of using the cats.

Does that make me a bad cat-mommy-blogger?

Saturday, March 7, 2009

Day Twenty-five

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation.

25. I check this woman's blog every day. Even though she hasn't written anything SINCE NOVEMBER!



Thanks for sticking around for all 25 "random things". These may be the most posts I've posted consecutively. Remind me to buy you a cocktail to celebrate.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Day Twenty-four

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation.

24. I'm on the pill. The daily-I-can-have-sex-until-I-turn-blue-and-still-not-get-pregnant pill.* I just found out, when picking up my latest refill from the pharmacy, that my insurance no longer covers oral contraceptives. I'll be covered in the event that I decide to have 8-14 children, but not to prevent those multiple bastards. I've spent the last few days wondering, does my insurance cover abortions? And in a now signature line of thought, could I sell an unborn fetus to a renegade scientist who is researching a cure for Alzheimer's?

*No, Mom & Dad, I'm not having sex. I've never even thought about having sex. I don't even really know what sex is. What little I know sounds gross. Boys are gross too. Ew.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Day Twenty-three

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation.

23. I am not comfortable talking on the phone. Ever. Unfortunately, part of my job forces me to be on the phone. Every time I pick up the dreaded handset, my voice goes up an octave, and I sound like Minnie Mouse. The longer the phone call goes, the higher my voice gets, until no human could possibly hear the frequency my vocal chords are emitting. Eventually the other person on the line is forced to hang up, because the overhead lights are flickering and he/she is afraid it might be a ghost seeking revenge. Run away, run away!

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Day Twenty-two

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation

22. If real life was like Dungeons & Dragons, my alignment would be neutral good. I follow a set of rules and laws very strictly, but I'm the one who made them up, so it's easy for me. I don't play D&D anymore, but only because all my D&D friends have turned into World of Warcraft players. I am not a fan of WOW.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Day Twenty-one

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation.

21. The copy of this I put on my blog is slightly edited, because my mom reads my blog. My mom isn't on Facebook, so my Facebook is completely uncensored. Wanna be Facebook Friends?

Monday, March 2, 2009

Day Twenty

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation.

20. I have dyed my hair many colors, but my favorite was purple. A surprising effect was that women ages 60 and up would randomly come up to me at the grocery store and compliment me on the color. They'd ask me where I'd gotten it done. I'd answer them honestly that I'd done it myself, with Rit fabric dye mixed in my conditioner.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Day Nineteen

There's a crazy game running rampant on the Internet. It's a game very similar to one I just played. But since I've been tagged by three people now, I'm breaking down and playing it too. I'm told to post 25 "random" things about me. But to add suspense, I'm posting one thing a day. I see you shiver in antici...........................................pation.

19. I do my own taxes, and I'm running out of things to write. Does this count as two?