Sunday, March 30, 2008

Barbie's Sex Tape

Here are some of the stills from the video Barbie and Ken made. Barbie still doesn't know about it being all over the internet, or about the wildly popular site
Be a friend, and don't tell her until she's gotten over the break-up a little more.
Please do not look at this blog entry at work, or look at it if you are under the age of 18.

If you're looking for the "money shot", you won't find it here. Afterall, Barbie's my friend!

Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Aftermath of Barbie's Breakup

I went over to Barbie's house to see how she was doing after the break-up between her and Ken.
I was floored. I figured she might be depressed, but this is ridiculous!

She was gorging herself on junk food, especially pizza.

Dirty plates and empty cups piled up along and under the couch.

She had not only her cell phone, but her home phone within arm's reach, just in case Ken called to get back together.

She hadn't brushed her hair in days. There were knots, tangles, and things stuck in there!

Her clothes were filthy, but at least she wasn't wearing pajamas, right?

Even with all the eating, she was losing weight. Even her chest was shrinking.

She kept the teddy bear Ken had won at the last state fair close.

She'd been staring at the tv for days. Zoning out watching the Lifetime channel.
She's gonna flip out when she hears about their sex tape; Ken spread it all over the internet.

Thursday, March 27, 2008

Public Service Announcement

Soylent Green, is people. It took some of us years to accept it. But can mankind ever accept the next layer of lies debunked?
If you can, here it is:


It tastes like fruit. The most popular brands aren't even made from fruit, and have sugar, sucrose, or high fructose corn syrup added. Flavored water is healthier than soda. Because juice is healthier than soda!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Bring on the Leeches!

My apologies to anyone reading this petty excuse for a blog. Tuesday night, I was admitted into the hospital with a kidney infection. Now, almost a week later, I am back! As much as I could bore you with all the nitty gritty details of me trying to recover (they used leeches!!!), I won't. Another matter of great consequence has come to my attention.

Mr. J's love of Hello Kitty.

The pens, toothbrushes, toothbrush holders, soap dishes, rinse cups... I was prepared for those.
(By the way the pictures I took of his things didn't come out, so I stole these from various spots on the Internet. Our bathroom set is of the real Hello Kitty, and not Hi! Kitty! as the above picture seems to be.)

The waffle maker had me surprised.

The hair crimper/straightener, made me concerned.

But when he brought home to the rifle, I knew things were getting bad.

Honestly, Mr. J gets the biggest hello kitty trophy in the universe for taking care of me while I was sick. Not many men could wash a weak girl's hair, without coping a feel. Thank you.

Monday, March 17, 2008

St. Patrick's Day

People who don't have to worry about being pinched on St. Patrick's Day.

Wicked Witch of the West (Elphaba)




Jolly Green Giant

Even though he's wearing purple, which clashes...
The Incredible Hulk

The Matrix family from Reboot! I miss that show....
And because I couldn't let the day go by without it...
Charlton Heston