To all the strawberry-flavored pirates out there.

This weekend, I wrote about going to see a show that I had been waiting a long time to see. Now I want to tell you another story about a show that I had been waiting a long time to see. (I also wrote about this on Linda Strawberry's Strawberry-Flavored Blog, a collaborative blog that I'm moonlighting on. I'll post a link once it's a little less green.)

Last year Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End came out and everyone was fighting for opening night tickets. By using bribes, sexual favors and a cunning use of Fandango, I managed to get my hands on five tickets. It was my friend, Bethamphetamine's birthday, and I was going to take her and three other friends to the movie. But first, we decided to party like true pirates, with lots and lots of rum.

Actually, no one else had any rum, we all had to drive to the theater, but I was Bethamphetamine's ride, so she drank rum, lots and lots of rum. She drank at my apartment, she snuck a flask in the car, and she even filled a liter of rum into a Coca-Cola bottle to sneak into the movie theater.

At exactly the hour-mark of the movie, Bethamphetamine was asleep. Passed out, slouched down in her seat, and missing the most popular movie of the summer. The night would have ended well, if she had stayed asleep. But I am sad to say that she didn't.

About an hour and fifteen minutes into the movie, she woke up. And as many people who have experienced a night of alcohol bingeing know, her stomach was turning itself inside trying to figure out how to rid itself of the poison flooding all the organs.

She started puking. I don't mean just head-between-the-knees, vomiting-on-the-floor either. She threw up all over the two rows of seats directly in front of her.

We left immediately, I'm sure even if we hadn't the management would have asked us to leave. I still feel horribly for the people she hit. Two of our friends stayed, they weren't hit, had brought their own cars so stayed to see the end of the movie. They reported that no one but us left the theater. The victims stayed, sticky and smelly through the rest of the movie.

That's dedication to being a true pirate.