Saturday, December 6, 2008

Birthday Issues

It was my 18th birthday, RadioActiveSlog's (my twin brother), 18th birthday too. My father, Nameless Dad, had to work, so we all trucked down to his office for cake and presents on his lunch break. The whole family crammed into a tiny office, and my mom, OperaMom, brings in the cake. Carrot cake. I've always hated carrot cake. And being the pubescent girl I was, I pointed it out. "OperaMom... you made us carrot cake? I hate carrot cake. I've always hated carrot cake. It's a muffin masquerading as a cake, and I refuse to acknowledge it." She told me in her own sweet way to "shut the hell up, I was lucky to be even getting cake." But I couldn't help but notice the slight panic in her eyes and the sweat beginning to glisten off her brow.

Once the rest of family had gorged themselves on cake, it was present time. Who doesn't love presents? Monkey Lord, my little brother, had brought in a big huge bag of presents. He started pulling out the shiny packages wrapped in green, RadioActiveSlog's favorite color. OperaMom's color drained from her face, but I still remained oblivious. My family must have had a lot of green wrapping paper, and didn't want it to waste. That must be why all the presents were wrapped in green.

Monkey Lord put all of the green boxes in front of RadioActiveSlog.

OperaMom started stuttering, "J-Jane, you s-s-ssssee, money's real tight this year, and, and, we decided to split buying you two things between paychecks. You'll get-get yours next w-w-week." From the fear in her voice you'd think I was Katie Kaboom(see video below).

That year RadioActiveSlog was gifted with many beautiful and expensive gifts. I got a plastic tiara from Claire's. Though OperaMom still denies it to this day, I think all the evidence is there to prove that, my parents forgot my birthday yet remembered my twin brother's.

1 comment:

Pagan Lizard said...

every time i hear this story, i want to whisk you away to olive garden and text mr. j about you having just turned 18 while we laugh so loud the waiter looks nervous. i still say we should have scanned your id (it was still valid at that point) and sent it to him.

we have birthdays to make up still. good times shall be had when you and mr. j move here! miss you guys!