Thursday, September 11, 2008

Attack of the tiny tiny clones.

I think Calvin was on the right track.

I'm talking "Calvin and Hobbes" not Calvinism.

As a large part of my generation might remember, Calvin built a cloning machine. You walked into it and two of you walked out. A brilliant idea, but I don't think he thought big enough. There needs to be options, to better market the idea.

Like options to make your clone smaller and larger than yourself. After the "Austin Powers Trilogy" everyone wants a "Mini-Me", and wouldn't it be nice to have a 9-foot tall you beat up anyone who bothers you? I want options that can alter my clone's DNA to change her hair color, to easily tell us apart. I want to be able to clone my cats in plushie form. So I can cuddle with them, when they're not in the mood. And when is a cat ever in the mood?

If I could tweak my clone's personality, that'd be great too. I'd make them ultra submissive, so I could be as damn bossy as I please. Plus, there would need to be a portable model. For the Mad Scientist on the go. Different sizes available. The cloning bazooka with all the features of the cloning machine, the cloning 9mm with just the basic cloning and size alteration.

I think that as a default feature the clones shouldn't have stomachs. There's enough people starving to death as it is. Instead, to extend the life of your clones, you can buy energy pills or injections. Pills need to be taken twice daily and injections once weekly. Of course the injections would be more expensive. But this way the cloning company would continue to make profit after the machine is sold.

It's brilliant! I should go into marketing.... now all I need is someone to build it. Anyone have a degree in advanced genetics?

No comments: