Sunday, December 6, 2009

Open Letter

Dear Chicken shit-who-hit-our-car-and-drove-away-unwilling-to-exchange-insurance-information-or-even-check-if-we-were-okay,

Merry Christmas.

I hope you get herpes,
Jane

3 comments:

Nettie said...

I gather what happened. At least a little bit. More details?

Suicidal Jane said...

We were sitting in Mr. J's car, stopped at a red light with a car in front of us. For some reason, unknown, the car in front us decided to start backing up. Mr. J laid on the horn, but the car continued to back up until it hit us. (I would understand if the driver had to back up because he/she had just realized that his/her car was half-way in the intersection, and in danger of being hit... but this was not the case.) Impact happened. Our car shook a bit. Immediately the car who hit us speeds away, through the still-red light.

I have come up with a few plausible reasons why the driver would have done this hit-n-run.

1. He/She is an uninsured asshole.

2. He/She has a dead body in the trunk, and were worried that the collision might pop the trunk open.

3. A pregnant woman was in the car, and the force of the cars grinding together caused the baby to fling out of her uterus, onto the car floor, and the driver was rushing her to the hospital. (If only labor was that easy.)

4. The car was actually being driven via remote control, and the car was going to pick up the 7 year old kid (who was controlling it) from school before the school bullies could find him hidden in the lunch room dumpster.

5. Karma is telling me it doesn't like my new hair color.

Pagan Lizard said...

or, let's go for the most logical reason, the person driving the car was both unlicensed, uninsured and illegal.

it may sound racist but seriously, have you looked around albuquerque?