Crayola Poop

Last night, I was ravenous. I needed FOOD!

Wait, I'm going to cut to the end of the story, so you can decide if you want to continue reading or not. I just pooped GREEN. *

Still interested? Good, I'll continue.

I was hungry enough to start looking at the cat's food, wondering "The cats seem to like it... I bet it can't be that bad." But the man who was put on this Earth with the sole purpose of making sure I get fed around a set schedule, refused to get off the computer so we could go get dinner. Sure, I could have gotten off my ass, driven myself to the store, and gotten my own damn dinner. However by dinner time, I had already had far too much to drink to drive legally. (I like to get my drinkin' started early.) Starving, I searched the entire apartment, looking for something I could eat to keep my body from devouring itself. I found cookies.

This would not be the first time I had cookies for dinner, and god dammit, it won't be the last. But it will be the last time I eat dark green cookies.

BECAUSE I JUST POOPED GREEN!* I'm not saying that my poop was green, I pooped out a color. A solid color. (I'm not including a picture, that'd be gross). You could have painted with this shit. (Which reminds of a story about my brother, but that's for another time.)

*Not that I poop. I'm a girl, and girls don't do that. Ever.