Monday, February 13, 2012

All I'm asking is for a little gay erotica

Jared Fogle (the Subway Guy) needs a porn alter ego. I have searched and searched and come up empty handed. Let me tell you, when looking for subway, the sandwich restaurant, porn, you come across a lot of Japanese men molesting/raping schoolgirls on subway cars videos. And until I'm a quadrapalegic, that's not really my thing. When you search for sandwich porn, you get a lot of threesome videos. Sometimes they also take place on a subway car. Once I found a video of two guys eating a sandwich while double teaming a girl on a subway car, but that wasn't what I was looking for.

Dammit, the world needs Jared Fogle seducing Michael Phelps, and/or Apolo Ohno. I can see it now, Jared enters the green room on the set of a Subway commercial the three men are filming. Jared is wearing his old size 5XL pants, holding them up at the waist band. When suddenly he drops them, revealing that he's not wearing any underwear. Michael and Apollo are shocked at the size of his footlong penis. Jared smiles at them and winking, purrs, "5 dollars."...

I want to start questioning what vigorous activity REALLY helped Jared lose that wait. If the pink-haired eSurance cartoon chick is popping up in hentai websites, then why haven't any picked up Jared? It has to be some form of discrimantion, and I won't stand for it!

Please sign my petition in the form of leaving a comment, and help me demand that Jared be brought to into the adult entertainment world!

*I should note that I was able to find a heterosexual fanfiction involving Jared, but it was softcore at the most. And while very cleverly written, I was left unsatisfied and wanting more.

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