Saturday, November 15, 2008

Mr J doesn't have mono.

Last week, Mr. J grew a cyst under his tongue. It was diagnosed as mono.

Okay, I'm the one who diagnosed him. Sure I'm not a doctor, but I watch actors play doctors on TV. Shouldn't that qualify me?

Mr. J said it was a tumor, and that he'd named it Karl. (Which is the name of one my ex-boyfriends. All too fitting.)

Yesterday, we went to the doctor to find out what it was, and how to get rid of it. Turns out it was just a clogged saliva duct, full of food and dead skin cells. Pretty gross right? It gets grosser. I have a picture.

They cut it open and hopefully removed all of the stuff clogging the duct. And an hour later we were enjoying sushi. (Well, I was enjoying sushi, Mr. J was enjoying sushi and vicodin.) But honestly, does thinking about raw fish make that picture any less gross?

I don't think so either.


a smiley face said...

Too funny,.. and I'm going to google mono after posting this very important comment, just to find out what the hell mono actually is. Sounds dubiously like an American invention...

Whenever I hear the word I can't help but recall Wayne's World, when he says "I once thought I had mono, but it just turns out I was really tired."

Nameless Cynic said...

"Mr. J was enjoying sushi and vicodin"

That's like a fill-in-the-blank, right? Because the vicodin pretty much ensures you'll enjoy whatever it is.

"Mr. J was enjoying liver and vicodin" Wow, I never knew how much I enjoyed the gamey flavor!

"Mr. J was enjoying a big glass of bacon fat and vicodin" It has a certain unctuous tang to it. And I enjoy using words like "unctuous" when I'm on vicodin, too.