Saturday, July 31, 2010

I'm not so good at keeping secrets

I used to date this guy, let's call him Virgil. He was overweight, and had been that way for as long as he could remember. He made the best german chocolate cake. But that's not the point of this story. After a few dates, and more than a few drinks, he felt the need to open his soul and tell me his deepest, darkest, childhood fears.

Why Virgil? Why? I didn't particularly care to learn about what made him into the individual person he came to be. Aside from his cake skills, he wasn't that good of a boyfriend. I wasn't that good a girlfriend either. But he wanted to share, and I was too drunk to come up with a reason why he shouldn't.

Virgil confessed that he'd been a fat kid. As a young boy, he had reoccurring nightmares; where he would have a feast set before him. He would eat, eat and eat. Until, a la Monty Python, he would explode! He would wake up crying, screaming for his mother.

I asked him what she would do to comfort him, and "make it all better" in the way that only mothers know how.

Virgil told me that she would let him have all the ice cream he wanted, until he felt better.

He then asked me stop laughing. It wasn't funny. But like I said, I wasn't a good girlfriend.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

wow now if that wasn't the Marie Antoinette ( let them eat cake) story i love it , fat kids of the world need to unite and learn how to get in touch with the inner fat child and.. aww hell this is pointless this goes to show that Maury povich and his fat kid shows will never go out of style. biggest loser that , me ill stick with my coffee so give me 2 creamers 3 sugars and ill holla