Monday, July 5, 2010

Oh, Canada!

Last night Mr J asked me why I hate fireworks. I feel that this is an unfair representation of my feelings towards fireworks. I don't hate them. I don't love them either. My true opinion on fireworks? They're loud. Not bad, or good, just loud.

If I were to guess how the rumor of my hatred of fireworks began, I'd bet my last dollar that it got confused with my hatred of drunk people with fireworks. Especially if they're in my neighborhood. If you are yelling, slurred lyrics to a Bruce Springsteen song, and shooting bottle rockets at your fence/your neighbor's garage, you deserve to have the cops called on you. I find it ridiculous that once a year, in the United States*, this is acceptable behavior.

Drunk people with explosives is definitely on my hate list. Right up there with arson.

*I can already see the nasty e-mail now. "If you don't like it, you can leave! Unpatriotic bitch!!" And while there are many clever responses, that I could say. I'm just going to tell you all "Go back to blowing your cousin Earl, you aren't finished yet."


Pagan Lizard said...

you don't even want to have drunk fireworks with your wife??? granted, fireworks are illegal in denver county so lets just have sugar free jello shots and be drunk in the bedroom and watch the other people shooting off fireworks while being blocks and blocks away.

coffees1stluv said...

its so funny i like fireworks in theory myself well there was that one time , i was working third shift and on the way home in the morning hours of July 4th when POW POW POW i tell you i had my first crack head moment. immediately i ducked down like i was dodging a bullet. so now fireworks are fun from afar. as for this year the fourth was spent with a cup of coffee with 2 sugars and 3 creamers and ill holla at you next year

Suicidal Jane said...

Ooo, coffee or jello sound like much more fun than loud pops of light.