It's not easy being green

I heard that props from beloved movies can be bought for outrageous amounts of money. 

Dorothy's ruby slippers, from The Wizard of Oz, went for $6 million dollars in an auction.*

The magic carpet from Disney's Aladdin sold for $9 million dollars in another auction.**

And I just heard, that the original Yoda puppet from Empire Strikes Back recently sold for $16 million dollars.*** 

I can't even imagine having that kind of money. But I promise you, if I was rich enough, nerdy enough and Star Wars obsessed enough to spend $16 million dollars on a latex puppet, as soon as I'd gotten it home, I would rip it out of it's packaging and fuck the green off that bitch. Dammit, if I'm going to spend $16 million dollars on anything, I'm going to do whatever I want, and I don't care about your judgements. Why? Because I can afford to spend $16 million dollars on a toy. And honestly, if that's the way I'm spending my money, I doubt I'm getting laid.

Bend over and show me your dark side.

*I made this figure up.

**I rounded up this figured. The carpet can fly, why didn't it go for higher?

***I heard this from my little brother, Monkey Lord, who I think made the whole thing up.