Best Christmas Gift EVER!

This is a non-farting hippo. Purchased from Amazon.com, who does not sell farting hippos. What the fuck, Amazon? What kid wants a stuffed hippo that doesn't fart? Know your demographic!

Because I wanted to send a certain little boy (not so little anymore) a farting stuffed animal, and I decided to make one myself. (Sure I could find farting dogs, and really expensive farting hippos, but this one will have the personal touch of being homemade. So quit poo-pooing my gift!)

A self-inflating Whoopie Cushion is needed. Pictured is my cat, Vixen, inspecting the Whoopie Cushion, tomake sure it's a high-quality product.

You'll also need a sharp cutting utensi. Scissors, seam ripper, scapel, or a knife for dramatic effect!

I find that laughing manically helps the guilt you feel when violating a

plush hippo from behind.

Tear/cut the stitches of the back end of the stomach.

And pull out about half of the stuffing in the stomach.

From a shoe box, poster board, thin cardboard, trace the shape of whoopie cushion and cut out two.

Sandwich the whoopie cushion between the two pieces of cardboard you just cut out, and insert inside the hippo.

Stitch the hippo's stomach up with the whoopie cushion enclosed. Leave the flap sticking out of the animal, under the tail. Cut off the cardboard's flaps once you're completely done sewing the hippo closed.

Begin farting!